Leader, Know Thyself
Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.
--- Aristotle
If you aspire to be the kind of leader you’ve always admired, the place to start is by discovering who you are – what drives you, what challenges you, and what makes you unique. Deep self-awareness is critical to leading authentically so that you can build trust and credibility with your team and your colleagues. Without those fundamentals, you can’t reach your full potential as a leader and your effectiveness as a leader can be compromised.
Ask yourself: How accurately do you know your own strengths, limitations, challenges, motivations, fears, emotional triggers and biases? When was the last time you sought honest feedback from those around you? Research shows that while 95% of people believe they are self-aware, only 10–15% actually are. The biggest barrier is often our reluctance to acknowledge that we need to do this work— and our discomfort with imperfection.
I participated in a leadership development exercise that was impactful for my own personal growth plan. Each participant was provided with a stack of notecards and asked to write the name of all the other participants on the tops of the cards – one person per card. Our assignment was to write down two things that we appreciated or admired about each person in the class. With 19 of us in the cohort, that meant that we each received 38 positive affirmations! We received our cards at our next onsite meeting and read them out loud to the group. An incredibly affirming exercise with lots of smiles for everyone present.
Then, we were each given one more stack of cards. We were asked to again place each person’s name on a card. This time, we were to respond to the question, “What is one thing you wish this person would do differently?” As we read what people had said about us, privately this time – it was humbling, yet impactful. Reading how I was perceived was eye-opening. Not de-moralizing, but a clear leadership crucible moment for me and for others in the room. As we debriefed, we talked about how to process our learnings and how we could positively use the feedback in our leadership walk – both the affirmations and the criticisms.
It’s a true gift to have “loving critics”—people who care enough to offer constructive, timely, and honest feedback, and who give us the opportunity to improve. These are not the constant faultfinders you may have in your circle – their feedback is less important than the ones who can constructively, lovingly, and honestly share feedback and who become trusted partners in our development.
Even if you can’t participate in a formal leadership program, you can commit to self-discovery. Start by listing your own leadership strengths and weaknesses. Then, invite feedback from friends, family, and colleagues. Do others see you as you see yourself?
It’s hard to receive criticism, so it’s easier to avoid it. When we realize that we are all imperfect – that we are all a work in progress – it becomes easier to embrace the feedback we receive. Ask your team, your friends, and your peers to share a couple of things you do well and then one thing they believe limits you as a leader. Give them permission to be honest and when you receive the feedback – thank them for it. To further reward their courage and create trust, share with them what you learned, engage them in your plan of action, and ask them to serve as an accountability partner to provide you with ongoing feedback.
It takes courage to see ourselves through others’ eyes. Self-awareness is a lifelong journey, not a one-time task. Leaders who invest in knowing themselves not only elevate their own effectiveness but also create thriving environments for their teams.
Remember that your leadership effectiveness will grow as your self-awareness expands.
If you’re interested in leadership coaching or team-building, let’s chat more! Bringing awareness to your strengths and opportunities is the first step in building a thriving and healthy workplace!